The Singleton

I read an article this morning from NPR (love NPR) about birth order. I've read other articles about birth order and some of it seems logical. I find myself sometimes labeling the people I know, saying things like, "He's so the middle of three boys, or she is totally the baby of a big family."

I fall into another category; the most misunderstood of them all: the only child. So here are some of my thoughts and experiences of being an only child.

First off, let's examine the picture I included. This is the essential Christmas photo for the only child. With no other childrent to round out the frame, you have to throw the dog in there. That dog was just like a little sibling though. She wanted to play with me, but I didn't want to play with her, she peed on my bed, and like many children may say they are allergic to their siblings, well I  actually was allergic to her. And also like the little sibling, she was cuter. By the way this was our cocker spaniel, Freckles.

It was either in the 1st or 2nd grade when my teacher said to my mom, "Jocelyn doesn't seem like an only child." She didn't know what that meant exactly, but knew there was a negative stigma on the only child. We are thought to be spoiled, introverted, lonely, and overprotected. I have a friend who is way more spoiled than I am and more overprotected than I am, and she isn't an only child.

One thing I do notice about myself that is a totally only child trait is that I always need to be special in some way. In high school I hated my honors classes because I wasn't the smartest in the class any more. I preferred to stay in the regular classes and annoy everyone by scoring the highest on tests.

Another thing about only children is that we usually need our space. I'm very good a sharing a room thanks to PLNU stuffing 5 girls into 2-room apartments, but I get cranky when I don't have anytime to myself. Sometimes on the weekends while everyone else was out I would gladly stay home and read.

I know only children, oldest children, middle children, and youngest children, and twins. I know people with 6 siblings and those with 1 sibling. And though I can see traits in my friends that are thought to stem from birth order, they are all different despite where they fall in the family. I think studying the psychology of birth order is interesting (but I like to study things) but it's really not hard science. Personality is based on so many things.

So next time you meet an only child, I give you permission to form an opinion about them because I understand I can't be the only person with an opinion on everything. Please, however, don't form an opinion on what you believe only children are like via stereotypes; we are people just like anyone else all with different backgrounds and personalities.

Here's the article if you would like to take a look.
http://www.npr.org/2010/11/18/131424878/how-much-does-birth-order-shape-our-lives?ps=cprs